30 die in Aptos house fire.

A Soquel man was the lone survivor of a horrifying house fire that broke out early Sunday afternoon.  The gathering was supposed to be a joyous occasion, marking the 3rd anniversary of the church’s Atmosphere Committee.  Joy quickly turned into scorching shrieks of terror as flames swiftly engulfed the quaint ranch style house.  911 transcripts reveal that the Soquel man was asked to bake a pizza on the bottom rack of the oven.  Unfortunately, he mistook the heating element as the bottom rack.  Apparently this isn’t the first time the 34 year old Soquel man, known to many as “Fuckin’ Bobes” has done this.

The entire Atmosphere Committee died in the blaze, but Fuckin’ Bobes managed to escape with only minor injuries.  In the video you can see Fuckin’ Bobes being taken to the amerlamps on a stretcher.  The Cult Church leader arrived on scene ironically dressed in all black, but too late to help his charred congregants.

A memorial will be held this Saturday at the church.  As the lone Atmosphere Committee member Fuckin’ Bobes will be solely responsible for setting things up for the service.  This too can only end in tragedy.  God help us all...fuckin’ Bobes...

Kansas Cittay!

Suddenly Zambians!!

Fuckin' Bill, Fuckin' Bobes

That's all I really have to say.  Fuckin Bill.  Fuckin Bobes.

Face Herpes

Two words:  Rough Muff.  I rode it lawng and hard...now I got the Face Herpes.  Live and learn, I guess.  Remember kids, when you're face-surfing the "jammy clammy" don't forget to put on your masked avenger face protector.  Now in 3 vibrant colors: Suffocation Blue, Entrail Red and Butt-Nectar Brown.  

Worked all weekend...Boooooooo, but I'm still more hard core than YOU! Kristin Fiorillo!

Hola, may I take your order?  Here I am rocking my Poncho Villa Poncho @ Los Wochos.  We had a buy 2 get 1 taco free promo.  It was off the hook, yo!  The ladies wuz fine too.  

I said I'd give a Holla to the fine bitches of St. James High School Volley Ball Team who stopped by my fine establishment after their game and gave me the Insta-Bone.  Extra Hollas to #12, Freshman K. Fiorillo.  My lawd!  brb, fap.

Holy Punctured Bowel, Batman!

Remember kids, make sure your banana seat is locked in tight!  Reminds me of my last trip to Enumclaw.  E-Numb-Claw.  Meouch!  

Stoke-a-Rama!

I'm totally stoked right now!  mostly b/c of my awesomeness, but also b/c my new shipment of HIFD!  Can you smell the FAP?!  That is all.

Manandal Berry Pickin' Time!

It's spring time!  You know what that means fellaz.  Get your baskets ready because it's Manandal-Berry pickin' time!

I

I love Manandal Berry Jello YAY!

Douchy McDouchelby

hey, i'm a hard core MTB douche. i'm fucking indy-core to the bizz-known. i just got my lionel ritchey fork in the mail. i'm popping a throbbing bone-noir right nao! had to buy the whole bike just for the fork. that's how indy-core i am.